Lakaw

Lakaw,

Ug dad-a ang imong mga hinumod

Ayaw pasagdi nga magkatag lang sa sawog

Puyosa sa imong mga kamot ang mga niagi natong panahon

Ug dad-a sa imong paglakaw

Lakaw,

Ug hinaot mahikaplagan nimo ang adlaw

Aron mauga pagbalik ang imong kasing-kasing

Nga nabasa sa dala nakong uwan

Pasayloa,

Kung ang akong kasing-kasing mahilakon

Kung nalunod ka sa akong mga pagbakho

Pasayloa,

Kung ang imong mga adlaw nahimong gabie tungod sa akong mga dag-om

Lakaw,

Usa pa mubaha ug balik

Ug mugukod ang tubig sunod sa imong mga tunob

Palayo.

Advertisements

Like rain

(flash fiction)

It was raining hard. His shirt was now soaking wet as he stood in the rain, eyes closed, and tears were falling like rain itself.

His sobs turned to muffled screams. He loosened his clenched fists, took off his glasses, and wiped the tears pooling in his eyes.

With his eyes still closed, he dropped his glasses deep down into the busy street where he could still hear the sound of the vehicles singing cacophonies.

While still closing his eyes, he slowly took a step forward. Then he fell down like rain on the hard wet sidewalk.

Ikaw

Ikaw,

Ang daganan

Kung ang mga bagtak

Gikapoy na sa paglakaw

Ikaw,

Ang pasilonganan

Kung makahilos na

Ang mga bidlisiw sa adlaw,

Ang matag tagasak sa ulan sa akong panagway,

Ang bugnaw nga hangin

Nga minghuyop

Sa akong panit

Ug hinungdan sa pagkatagak

Sa mga dahon kong nalaya na

Ikaw,

Ang adlaw nga ningsaad

Nga papahawaon ang ulan

Apan ikaw,

Ang hinungdan sa bagyo karon sa kagabhion

Samtang ako naghigda,

Sulod niining atong lawak

Ug ikaw,

Ilawom sa yuta

Man up

I wish I could tell you, Pa,

That lately I haven’t been sleeping

Most nights, I just stay in my room and make silent screams with a pillow on my face

Sometimes, I sit on the couch and wait for the next morning to come

I wish I could tell you,

That I have been drinking your alcohols not because

I am becoming a man of my own

(Which is what I want you to believe)

But because sometimes,

I wish I could drown what I feel

And wake up feeling the man you always wanted me to become

Sometimes when you’re not around,

I take out your guns under your bed

And put it in my mouth

It was almost like tasting my own blood

I know how it tastes

Because sometimes at night when I can’t sleep

I make my own wounds

Over and over again

Until there’s no space left for a new scar

I wish I could tell you Pa,

That I am not the man you think I am

That the day I almost crashed your car into the river,

Wasn’t an accident

That there are days when I just stare at myself in the mirror

And ask God why I didn’t become a man like you did

Why I have to go through what you didn’t go through

And why I had to feel what you couldn’t feel

I wish I could tell you,

That there are moments where I just refuse to breathe

And deprive my lungs the right to gasp for air

And I’m sorry I can’t “Man up”

I wish I could tell you Pa,

That every time you take me to the woods to hunt with the rifle in my hands

I stare at it for a long time

And convince not to shoot myself with you around

I wish I could tell you,

That I see myself

In the eyes of the deer

We shot that day

And maybe we’ll never know why

Maybe there’s a reason

Why sometimes

The sun hides

Behind the clouds

Why the moon

Sometimes

Leaves the stars

Why the sea keeps

Coming back

To the shore

Even at night

Why flowers

Don’t fall

For each other

Why the wolf

Keeps loving the moon

Maybe there’s a reason

Why coffee is black

And why many people

Drink it with a creamer

While others

Drink it plain

Why water

Doesn’t want us

To hold them

In our hands

Why people

Cut their wrists

While others

Smoke their lives away

Why people fall

For other people

Or on top

Of buildings

Why some dive

And refuse to swim

While others

Choose to

Be brave

And pull

The trigger.

El NiƱo

Nahubsan na sa luha

Ang akong mga mata

Nga walay laing gibuhat

Kung dili ang paghilak,

O ang pagpangita

Sa mga higayon

Nga nanglabay

Didto

Sa mga lugar

Nga atong gilaagan,

Naghandum nga makaluy-an

Ug mabalik ang mga kagahapon

Nga dugay ra nimong gilubong

Uban sa akong kasing-kasing

Nagtipak-tipak na

Ang imong kasing-kasing

Nga nahubsan sad sa paghigugma

Ug ako ania,

Nalunod sa kasub-anan

Dala sa di makita nga uwan

Places are not people

Sometimes, a space is just a space

Sometimes a place is just a place

Not a home

Not a memory

Sometimes, words are just words

Sometimes songs are just songs

Not a eulogy

Not a memory

Sometimes goodbyes are just words,

Not a knife you use

To keep stabbing yourself

Everytime you want to remember

Sometimes cafes and parks

Are just places

Not a home

For you to treasure;

For you to remember;

For you to build your walls

Only to be brought down;

Because sometimes, these things happen

Sometimes, the pain’s too much to bear

Sometimes, we forget ourselves

And sometimes, that’s okay

Somehow, it’s okay.